Hard Work, Hustle & Grind

When my dear friend Nurul Huda asked me to share my story for inspiration, I felt like I wasn’t enough. I thought, “Who am I to inspire anyone?” My past challenges felt like too much to overcome, and I couldn’t see a way out of my darkest moments. It seemed like God’s plan for me was confusing and didn’t make sense. But even with all those doubts, I’m thankful for where I am now. I’ve learned to accept my journey, with all its imperfections, because it’s made me who I am today.

From humble beginnings in a kampung where resilience was the cornerstone, I was the eldest in a household led by my Sarawakian mother, who bravely navigated life in the unfamiliar terrain of Peninsular Malaysia in the 1970s. Her unwavering strength became my guiding light. She instilled in me the belief that education held the key to transforming our family’s future. While my father toiled tirelessly to provide for us, I am inspired to be beyond the ordinary. I guess I want to get out from the ordinary life style. That’s when I saw football legends like Maradona and Canigia, I dreamed of becoming a professional footballer.

In a pivotal moment, I struck a deal with my mother: if I faltered academically, I would pursue my passion for football. With the determination of a child driven by dreams, I worked hard on my skills tirelessly, earning a spot in the Perak state Under-12 team. Yet, the clash between football and academics loomed, demanding unwavering dedication. Despite excelling academically in primary school, I faced a choice that tested my resolve, leading to sacrifices in pursuit of my dreams.

Secondary school presented challenges that tested my resolve in unprecedented ways. Despite my strong passion for football, academic success remained elusive, forcing me to choose between good grades and football school. Adolescence was a chaotic period marked by experimentation and rebellion. The allure of friendship and brotherhood led me into a troublesome crowd, where I abandoned academic pursuits for temporary thrills and adventures.
I can’t reveal it here but, something really bad happened, and it made me wake up and feel really sorry. Because of the event, my parent sent me to a boarding school, I think they can’t handle me anymore. But in all that mess, I felt a spark of determination. I promised myself I’d turn things around, make my family proud, and fix things.

One thing I was sure about was, wanting to play football well and get good grades to make my parents proud. But it turned out impossible because I hung out with the wrong crowd. Even though my academic dreams didn’t come true, I still pursued my football career and ended up representing Kelantan Under 18. Unfortunately, I couldn’t participate in the tournament because the rules didn’t allow students from MRSM to represent their states.

During all the ups and downs, in MRSM, one thing stayed clear in my head: every setback was a chance to learn, and every challenge was a chance to get stronger. In the toughest times, I found the strength to keep going, driven by dreams of becoming a professional football player that never faded away

Chapter 1 : The Journey of a Thousand Smiles

Starting my journey as a dental student wasn’t just about learning—it was about perseverance and discovering myself. When I began at the University of Malaya in 1997 through the Foundation in Biological Sciences program, it was a big deal for me. I was part of the first group to do a one-year matriculation program at the esteemed UM foundation centre, setting me on my academic path. But things took a turn when my mom wanted me to study medicine instead. Despite the unexpected change, fuelled by determination and love for my family, I embraced the challenge, balancing my studies with personal interests.

Just to give you some background, my love for football has always been strong. I’m thrilled to say that in 1997-1998, I signed a two-year contract with the Selangor reserved league team, under Coach Datuk K. Rajagopal. This was the highlight of my football career—I became a professional footballer, earning a salary and allowances.
Before signing the contract, Coach Datuk K. Rajagopal questioned me, “Are you sure you can do this? It’s rare to see a science student pursue professional football.” He mentioned that he’d seen many sport science players but never someone studying science. Confidently, I replied with a smirk, “I’m going to be the first one, coach.”

As I began my undergraduate studies in dentistry, I saw myself as somewhat of a rebel. I selectively attended classes based on my interests, often skipping those I found less engaging. Football training further fuelled my inclination to miss classes, providing an additional excuse to neglect my academic responsibilities. My approach and conduct were far from what is expected of a committed student.

In hindsight, I recognize that this lackadaisical attitude was the root cause of my academic failures and the various challenges I faced during that period. My disregard for the importance of consistent attendance and disciplined study habits significantly hindered my progress.

Reflecting on these experiences, I have come to understand that success in life requires more than just talent or passion; it demands a strong foundation of respect and discipline. Adab, or proper conduct, alongside a disciplined approach to one’s responsibilities, is crucial for achieving one’s goals and overcoming obstacles. These values are not only vital in academic pursuits but are also essential life skills that pave the way for long-term success and fulfilment.
I experienced failures during my undergraduate years, so many times that I have lost track of which batch I was originally from. I became negatively popular due to my reputation as a multiple failure and “problematic student”. My failures had caused my parents to be devastated and sad. I had never seen them looking so sorrow and frustrated. I promised myself that I would never want them to be disappointed again. I’m their first born, their hope that sets the example for my younger siblings. Navigating the labyrinth of academic setbacks and personal dilemma, I found solace in the steady support of few lecturers that I look up to them as mentors. When others had given up on me and saw me as a failure, they were the ones who stood up for me and believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. Fuelled by a newfound sense of purpose, I mustered every ounce of courage left to embark on a quest for redemption, challenging the conventional norms and societal expectations that once dictated my path. As a failure to many, I strived hard to graduate during my last chance.

I lost many friends during this tough time, some of whom were close ones, during my repeat years. I understand their point of view and moved on. I valued the ones who were still there, giving endless support. They took me in for group study, sharing their notes and willingly helped me in all my struggles outside the campus. Feeling low self-esteem was understated at this point, but there were people who kept pushing me and believing that I could succeed. It was also during this time, that I met my wife, when she was studying as a junior in Dentistry. She was one of the few who still believed in me, pushed me to study hard and surround myself with people who will not distract me from my main task.
Returning to my football journey, I came to realize the challenge of balancing professional football and dentistry. After two years of professional experience, I made the tough decision to end my contract and bid farewell to my team. It was a truly inspiring experience. These individuals worked tirelessly to excel in their roles, both on and off the field. Taking a step back, I can proudly announce my retirement from professional football at the age of 22. We achieved many victories under Coach Rajagopal, who later became the national coach after his time with the Selangor reserve league team.

After many years of failures, I passed the final exam. I was relieved and truly happy to see the proud faces of my parents, family, lecturers, and friends who have been supporting and praying for me.I see every setback as a chance to learn and grow.
If I can conclude my year 2 dental years was the worst event for me, I faced a major challenge that tested not only my academic skills but also my determination and strength.

Throughout my time as a dental student, I experienced ups and downs that transformed me. It became a story of resilience and self-discovery, showing the unbreakable spirit that defines being human.

Success in life requires more than just talent or passion; it demands a strong foundation of respect and discipline.

Capt. (R) Assoc. Prof. Dr. Mohd Haikal Muhamad Halil


Dean, Kulliyyah of Dentistry IIUM

Chapter 2 : Forging Triumphs and Overcoming Trials

Embarking on my career journey, I chose the Ministry of Defence as my first workplace, drawn by the promise of fostering loyalty, camaraderie, and unwavering values. Eagerly stepping into the role of an army officer, my enthusiasm was soon met with a sobering reality on my first day of duty. The shadow of past missteps followed me, tarnishing my reputation before I even had a chance to prove myself. Despite my earnest efforts to earn trust and respect, the stigma of my troubled past cast a long shadow, complicating every interaction.

The news as being a problematic boy travelled so fast. One of the senior Colonel warned me with words that was I considered not nice and mean for a young officer who was looking for inspiration. I guess the stigma of being problematic, makes my life difficult. There was no trust in the relationship, although you tried the hardest to be you own self.

But there were a few kind people who believed in giving second chances, and they stood up for me, guiding me to become a better person and a better dentist.

During my time in the army, I gained more values and purpose. I worked extra hard to earn my place in the organization. It was during this time that I developed my interest in prosthodontics and endodontics.
Another memory from my army days was how discipline could elevate you to another level. One notable mission was Ops Fajar, where we had to protect our vessels from pirates in the Gulf of Aden. In moments of real danger, discipline in planning and time management was crucial. This lesson will always stay with me.

I often find myself reminiscing about my days in the army

When my former boss in the army, Dato Termizi, retired and became the dean of the Kuliyyah of Dentistry, IIUM he reached out to me. This was after my assignment at Mechanise Camp Batu 10, Kuantan, following Ops Fajar. It’s customary for lower-ranking officers to make courtesy visits to their former bosses.
To cut a long story short, we met and he mentioned that he was hiring staff for a new dental school he was setting up back in 2007. I immediately informed my wife about the opportunity. She had always dreamed of becoming an oral maxillofacial surgeon, so I was thrilled when she was accepted.

At the time, I didn’t think I was a suitable candidate to become a specialist or a lecturer, mainly due to my academic results, attitude and my low self-esteem.
However, Dato Termizi persistently encouraged me to reconsider becoming a lecturer. I lacked confidence in myself, worrying about teaching students incorrectly or failing to inspire them.

My wife encouraged me, reminding me of times when I faced doubts but managed to overcome them. She urged me to believe in myself and to approach this new opportunity with faith, dedication, and a strong sense of values.

After several months of contemplation and seeking advice from senior officers, I finally made a decision. I decided to take a chance and try becoming a lecturer.
It was a tough decision for me because I deeply cherished my life in the army— the adventures, the camaraderie, and everything else that came with it.

Chapter 3 : Where Preparation Meets Opportunity

In 2009/2010, I began my postgraduate journey. You won’t believe where I ended up—University Malaya! It was a big surprise for me, and to be honest, I wasn’t thrilled about it at first. I had told my wife that University Malaya was the last place I wanted to go because of some tough experiences I had there during my undergraduate studies in dentistry.

Before landing at University Malaya, I had applied to around 10-15 places overseas. Even though I had passed my MFdS part 1 exam, it was tough for me because of my previous undergraduate results. Plus, at that time, scholarships for studying abroad had been stopped.

When my wife and I went for the interview at University Malaya, I could tell right away that the interviewers were surprised to see me there, especially since I was applying for the restorative program. I felt pretty small when they asked me questions like, “How can you convince us that you won’t make the same mistakes again?” and “How can you prove that you’ve changed?” It was a nerve-wracking experience, to say the least

I responded honestly, saying, “I can’t convince you.” I knew that if they still saw me as the same person from before, it would be hard to change their minds. But I pleaded for a chance to show them I could do better, or at least give it my best shot.

After a few weeks of waiting anxiously, I finally received the news—I was accepted into the Restorative Programme! It was like starting a whole new chapter in my life, full of excitement and anticipation for what lay ahead.

When my wife and I decided to pursue our postgraduate studies together, she became my rock. I wasn’t keen on going to University Malaya (UM) because of some negative experiences with my previous lecturers. But from the very beginning, she stood by me, encouraging and inspiring me every step of the way. She took on the role of a leader in our journey, guiding me when I felt lost and uncertain. Her unwavering support gave me strength, even when I lacked motivation and purpose.

I vividly remember the days of reporting for duty, where the sarcastic remarks from the lecturers made me feel frustrated. I’m pretty sure it’s not the lecturer’s intention to say it sarcastically, but it hurts and I promised myself that I would never let my students go through this type of event. Their words cut deep, and I vowed to create a different, more supportive environment for my own students.

However, my journey was far from easy. In 2012, I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a condition that plunged me into darkness. It shattered my resolve and left me feeling lost and hopeless. I struggled with feelings of helplessness and inadequacy as the weight of my condition threatened to overwhelm me. But in my darkest moment, a conversation with a respected professor offered a ray of hope. It prompted me to question my purpose and seek a way forward.

The pain was unbearable, so intense that it made it difficult for me to even walk. I couldn’t even lift my own child, Khadeeja. It left me feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I confided in my supervisor about my struggles, and I found myself on medical leave for extended periods. Despite my wife’s best efforts to lift my spirits, I felt like I was sinking deeper into despair. It felt as though someone had stolen the very essence of my life. I told myself that I had reached my breaking point, that there was no way forward. It seemed as though all hope for redemption had vanished.

Feeling defeated, I reached out to a professor I respected. I shared my struggles and my strong desire to give up. During our conversation, we discussed the importance of spiritual healing and believing in oneself. When the professor asked why I was pursuing my postgraduate studies, I couldn’t give a clear answer. It was the first time I felt unsure about my path, leading me to deeply question my academic journey.

In moments of hardship, it’s natural to seek solace in our faith. I turned to prayer, pouring my heart out and searching for spiritual guidance to uplift me during challenging times. Then, one night, I had a profound dream. In it, my students from the university were asking me about the correct way to place a composite. As I reflected on this dream the next day, it struck me deeply. It felt like a revelation, a sign from above guiding me towards my true purpose: to serve and support my students in their academic journey. This realization filled me with a renewed sense of determination and purpose, driving me forward with newfound passion and empathy for those I was meant to teach and inspire.

A few weeks later, I summoned all my strength to bolster my confidence and navigate the mounting pressure. However, despite my efforts, I found myself confronted with comments from supervisors that seemed to cast me in a negative light. These remarks perpetuated a stigma around me, suggesting that I wasn’t performing up to par. It was disheartening to face such insinuations, especially when one supervisor questioned my trustworthiness to my face during a clinical session. In those moments, the weight of their words felt crushing, leaving me feeling misunderstood and unfairly judged.

Yet, amidst the hurt and frustration, I realized that these reactions stemmed from a place of genuine concern for student success. Despite the pain their words caused, I couldn’t help but empathize with their perspective. After all, they were passionate educators striving to mold competent professionals, and their critiques, however harsh, were driven by a desire to see their students thrive.

In the end, the journey through my postgraduate studies was no walk in the park. It was filled with ups and downs, as I grappled with the complexities of balancing my academic pursuits with the responsibilities of family life. There were moments when physical discomfort threatened to derail my progress, and the demands of rigorous research often felt overwhelming. Yet, through it all, I remained resolute in my determination to see it through to the end.

Despite the obstacles, I kept my focus unwaveringly on the horizon. I understood that every lecture attended, every assignment completed, and every hurdle overcome was a step closer to realizing my dream of becoming a beacon of knowledge and inspiration for future generations. With each passing day, I grew not only academically but also personally, honing my skills and fortifying my resolve to make a meaningful impact in the lives of others.

As I pressed forward, I held onto the belief that every trial was merely a stepping stone to greater heights. And with each challenge conquered, I emerged stronger and more prepared to take on whatever lay ahead. My journey was not just about earning a degree; it was about laying the foundation for a future where I could impart invaluable lessons and inspire those who would come after me.

As I Pressed Forward,
I Held Onto The Belief That Every Trial Was Merely A Stepping Stone To Greater Heights

Capt. (R) Assoc. Prof. Dr. Mohd Haikal Muhamad Halil
Dean, Kulliyyah of Dentistry IIUM

Chapter 4 : Building a Legacy That Lasts

This marks the beginning of my real life journey—2014.My priority shifted towards my students. I was determined to ensure none of them faced the same struggles I did. Every task assigned by the Dean was approached with meticulous care, aiming to enhance my students’ journey towards improvement. The prospect of giving back to my fraternity filled me with excitement. Teaching and inspiring others became second nature to me.
Despite encountering numerous failures and obstacles, I eventually found the formula to guide my students through their undergraduate journey successfully.

I eagerly sought out numerous training opportunities to rejuvenate my approach to inspiring students in their journey toward becoming exceptional dentists. These included dynamic courses on refining my public speaking skills and mastering the art of delivering captivating presentations, ensuring that my classroom sessions were anything but boring. Additionally, I delved into the depths of religious studies, seeking to infuse my teaching with the wisdom and compassion imparted by my faith, both for the betterment of this world and the next

A year later, my world view on dentistry underwent a profound transformation. Spiritually, I found myself drawing closer to my Creator, recognizing His hand in crafting a journey that wasn’t straightforward but intentionally crooked. Through these twists and turns, I discovered the invaluable lesson of resilience, each challenge serving as a catalyst for deeper reflection and growth.

One undeniable truth is community holds immense power to influence us—it’s like this huge force shaping our journey. That’s why it’s vital to surround ourselves with positivity and good vibes. Surely, I’ve crossed paths with people who seem all smiles upfront but then spread negativity behind the scenes. But guess what? They’re just a tiny fraction.
The real deal? The majority out there? They’re genuine souls who genuinely believe in you. So keep that positive energy high and let it guide you through!

In life’s journey, there’s always a guiding light, ready to open doors for you when your heart is pure and your intentions are sincere, blessed by the Divine. For me, whenever I encountered moments of sadness or struggle, whether in my academic pursuits or elsewhere, it felt like God sent forth one or two remarkable souls to walk alongside me, offering their unwavering support and guidance. I owe an immeasurable debt of gratitude to these extraordinary individuals. May their selflessness be rewarded abundantly, both in this life and beyond.

After many years coming back from postgraduate, one thing that I am absolutely sure is our response to life’s challenges speaks volumes about our positivity and outlook. I firmly believe that if it’s not meant to be, even the best-laid plans can falter. It’s not about how others perceive you; rather, it’s about your actions and intentions in the eyes of your creator. Focus on what you contribute to the world, and rest assured
that if you’re aligned with God’s will, everything will fall into place as it should.

Have you ever heard of “the curse of knowledge”?

It’s when you become so knowledgeable about something that you start feeling superior to others. In my view, this mindset is not only dangerous but also counterproductive. Once you start believing you’re better than others, you halt your own learning and growth, which ultimately leads to a sense of stagnation.
Instead, I believe in staying humble and open-minded. Take a step back, explore the world around you, and you’ll quickly realize that the most successful individuals are those who remain humble and never look down on others. Humility is a vital ingredient for success, as it keeps us grounded, open to new ideas, and constantly striving to improve ourselves.

Chapter 5 Illuminating the Dental Path Ahead

Through all the challenges I’ve faced over the years… I firmly believe that each trial was a lesson crafted by God to shape me into a better teacher, one who can truly understand and connect with students. In my own journey, I’ve learned that academic achievements alone don’t dictate one’s success in life. When someone asks me this question, I answer with a “No.” This is because academic results only provide theoretical knowledge, whereas the real world is vastly different.

I have seen numerous examples of entrepreneurs and academician who didn’t excel academically but achieved great success in life and other areas. Moreover, every individual has unique strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, I firmly believe that the key to success lies in having a thirst for knowledge and striving to become a better person every day, regardless of academic achievements.

With this attitude and approach, anyone can achieve remarkable success in life, even if they have failed in their academic pursuits. Hold onto those who stood by you during your toughest moments, and brush off the negative voices of doubt. They’re the ones who will help you soar to greater heights. May every soul who offered me solace and support be showered with divine blessings beyond measure.You all know who you are, and I am eternally indebted to you. My fervent wish is for you to reap the highest rewards in this life and the next.

As I reflect on the journey of my life, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for the endless support and patience of my incredible parents. They’ve been the guiding lights in my life, teaching me valuable lessons, and showering me with love and understanding.

Their endless patience and belief in me have been the cornerstone of my small success and growth. I’m deeply grateful for their sacrifices, their tireless efforts, and the unconditional love they’ve shown me throughout the years.

And to my beloved wife, who has been my constant source of strength and inspiration, I owe a debt of gratitude beyond measure. She’s been my confidante, my partner, and my fan, standing by my side through thick and thin. My heart is filled with boundless appreciation for her unwavering love and dedication to our family. Together, they form the foundation of my happiness, and I’m forever grateful for their presence in my life.

Of course, all of this is by the grace of Allah.

Alhamdullilah.

In moments when you feel the weight,
And hope seems to fade, don’t hesitate,
Just one more step, a tiny deed,
Can sow the seeds for dreams to breed.
Keep your head held high, your spirit strong,
Even when shadows seem to prolong,
For when you think you’ve hit the wall,
Remember, dear friend, to stand tall.
Push ahead through every test,
Your dreams, though distant, are within your quest,
Through obstacles, find your path’s light beam,
And hold fast to your gleam.
My friend, don’t give in, trust in His grand plan,
For in every trial, you’re part of His divine span.

Capt. (R) Assoc. Prof. Dr. Mohd Haikal Muhamad Halil
Dean, Kulliyyah of Dentistry IIUM